simple pleasures

Last night Zoe really didn't want to go to bed, which is a switch. Normally little Miss goes thru the nigh-nigh routine fairly well. Blanket in hand, thumb firmly planted in mouth...maybe a book tucked in strategically with that blanket. She says nigh nigh to the tv if she's just been watching it (Min-Min Tuck!), or lately to Daddy's drawing of Bert and Ernie on the whiteboard in the hall (not so long ago we used it to keep track of who had their bottle and when).

At any rate after a good 20 minutes of screaming, crying and a heart breaking repetition of "momma!", I went to take a look. Nothing really out of sorts (except Roman wasn't crying as well, just watching Zoe). I got Zoe up, then Roman (to be fair - one sibling out = get out of jail free card). I stayed in the room but shut the door. I let them wiggle, climb, disassemble and re-sort the nicely stacked stuffed animals. Zoe still wasn't happy, but it was the I'm-so-tired-no-matter-what-you-do-I'm-going-to-scream kind of thing. So I let her. But at some point she settled on my lap. She even let her brother come on up. Upside down world: normally she doesn't go for sharing a lap. But she did (well to be truthful, this was about time #20 up on my lap in the last 20-30 minutes).

We had the windows open - the first time in I don't know how many weeks. It's been hot, or sticky or the double whammy hot and sticky. But yesterday was pretty nice. I started asking them if they heard any of the noises outside. Birds. Cars and buses too. Pretty soon the crickets started. Roman was calmly staring out the window, Zoe was laying across my arm. Relaxed. We did it! We took a messy, noisy path getting there, but we got to the calm nigh nigh place.

Very often I go check on you two before bed and I think of how angelic you look when you sleep. It's the calm quiet I think (butts in the air is just funny). But this moment, sitting on a chair in your room, peering out the window and listening for all the sounds that we normally miss, this was one of those moments I love. It's sometimes hard to get there. I started thinking about that living in the moment philosophy again. I think I've forgotten it. Gotta get back there. I love you guys.
I promise to attempt to be calm, loving and patient. You deserve it.