Here, Roman points at Sesame Street characters on one of the bowls Grandma Candy got for you. "nErnie" is the latest you can say. Roman does say 'big' (and bird according to day), but that's a little more for the trained ear to hear. nErnie is pretty distinct. I don't know that mElmo has lost his spot as #1, but it sure if fun to have a cast of characters that make you smile.
Or ham it up for the camera. These photos are from a few nights ago, but I took out the camera this morning and Zoe was making faces at me. Exaggerated smiles and the like.
We've moved our new table into what was originally the office (pre-you), then a spare bedroom, then a playroom. Better used as a place to eat dinner together. Daddy's been painting it this weekend (finishing up now!).
In other news the goal today is to get out for a walk because it's BEAUTIFUL today. It's so nice to see sun again.
The other day I was reading an interview from the Oprah magazine while I waited for my lunch to heat up. She was interviewing a Buddhist monk I'd never heard of (Thich Nhat Hanh). One section really struck me.
People sacrifice the present for the future. But life is available only in the present.
Not in the past, not in the desired future, but in what you have now. This makes a lot of sense to me. I think one of the reasons I was so satisfied with life when you two were (finally!) born was that I was living in the moment. Not worrying about the past ("should I have quit {insert job}", "why did it take me so long to 'grow up'", "if only I had finished college right out of college" - but I then recall there'd likely be no Daddy in my life and by extension no you..so I think pondering the "what ifs" often forgets the positives that came out of tough times...) and not worrying about the future ("how is this going to work with 2 kids and 2 jobs?", "how are we possibly going to afford all the diapers, the formula, the daycare", "what if I lose my job?", "what if daddy loses his job"....and all the unknowns). When you guys came there was no time for that. It was making sure you got fed, changed and loved. I didn't have to think about what the next big thing was. You were it.
It's not always easy to live in the here and now. But I have found that is where the joy comes. Watching you play. Watching you learn. Watching you eat your dinner (mmmm...and NaNas!). Not thinking and worrying about all the what ifs (past and future). That, my friends, gets me in trouble (I can tell you that from past experience). So remind me when it happens again.
I know there are people who are resistant to ideas outside of their tradition, but you I think you have to realize that there just may be value in listening. I'm noticing that sometimes these things tend to get rolled up into other traditions as well. You hear (well I hear) a lot in the Christian world about your thoughts having a huge impact on your well being and your future. It always reminds me of when I took my motorcycle training. The instructor said to look where you want to go. If you're looking off to the side of the road, that's where you're going to go. You follow the trajectory you've set for yourself. Yes, that's a simple analogy that doesn't account for a lot of things you can't control, but I do think there is truth in it. Don't set yourself up to fail.
Enjoy what is. Find something to be thankful for. And remind me of that when I forget!
p.s. Friday night Zoe was giving me real hugs! Real, wrap her arms around my neck, say "mmmmm" and embrace hugs. It was so sweet.
They've been giving kisses (Zoe with the tight lipped, "mmmmwa" variety and Roman with the tight lipped until I get to your face then I open my mouth wide open variety) for awhile. But real hugs are nice.
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